if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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