There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
True strength comes from lack of pants
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
