is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
