you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
