Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
