Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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