Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
honey bunches of taint.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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