hell yes lets make some ravioli
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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