i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize