My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
