I can tuck mytits in my pants
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
