So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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