all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
