are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Someone signed my nipple.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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