You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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