wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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