I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
