Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
