He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
