as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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