hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
