I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Welp...herpes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
