so that wasnt chicken after all
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
