we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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