he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
