its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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