You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
