Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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