From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
