I CAN MOONWALK!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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