Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
