i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
