i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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