She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
