i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
