These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
