Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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