i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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