just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
And then he peed in my hair
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