They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
