Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
