Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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