You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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