i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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