You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
