Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
