He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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