first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
