I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
