all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
